Hindi Jokes vinod text whatsapp

Hindi Jokes vinod text whatsapp
Hindi Jokes vinod text whatsapp 


AJ Radio lekar khet me potti karne gaya.
DJ:Aaj to maje se ki hogi?
AJ:Khak maje se ki, radio pe Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya. Khade khade kani padi.
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Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
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1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya.
Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.
Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte
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AJ : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
DJ : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega.
AJ : simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
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Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
AJ- haan
Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
AJ- oye....pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!



एक औरत सड़क पर गोद में अपने बच्चे को लेकर रोये जा रही थी, तभी वहाँ से संता गुज़र रहा था। संता ने उसके रोने का कारण पूछा।

औरत बोली, "बच्चा बहुत बीमार है और दवा के लिए पैसे नहीं हैं।"

संता ने जेब से 1000 का नोट दिया और कहा कि जाओ जाकर दवाई ले आओ और बच्चे के लिए कुछ खाना और दूध भी ले लेना, बाकी जो बचे मुझे लाकर लौटा देना मैं यहीं खडा हूँ।

थोड़ी देर बाद औरत आई और 800 रूपये लौटाती हुई बोली कि 100 रुपये डाक्टर ने लिए, 60 रुपये का खाना और 40 रुपये का दूध आया है।

संता बहुत खुश हुआ और सोचने लगा कि 'नेकी कभी बेकार नहीं जाती। डाक्टर को फीस भी मिल गई, बच्चे को दवा, दूध और खाना भी मिल गया।
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और मेरा नकली नोट भी चल गया।




Sher Ka Puttar
Ek Srdar apne Bete se bola oye ghabra

mat Tu sher ka puttar hai.
Beta: oye papaji, acha hua bata diya

techer bhi ye hi puchti he ki Tu kis janwar

ki aulad hai.?

Doctor Ki Likhai
Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo

kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate

hai..
Wo likhte hai:---
"Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le...!"

Batao na.!!
Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya acha lagta hai

meri samajhdari ya meri beauty..
Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne

ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai..


Kya hai?
ek bar American, Pakistani,
Or Chinese Chand Per Gaye.
tino ne Neche Dekha To Zameen Per ek

Lambi Line Nazar aee.
American : Ye NASA Ki Building Hai.
Chinese: Nhi Ye Cheen Ki Deewar Hai.
Pakistani: Na, Na, Na, Yeh To Na Building

Hai Or Na Deewar, YeTo Utility Store K

Bahr cheni leny Walon Ki Line Hai..!


Aur Bhi Hai..
Sardar :- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I

AM GOING"?
Friend :- Main jaa raha hun.
Sardar :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur

bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke

jaa..


Nahi Aata
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko

a,b,c Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9

tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k

pathy a,b,c main  9 nahi aata.


Fir Bhi!!
Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko

Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The.


Jor Se Bolo
Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di!


Gita pe haath Kabhi Nahi
vakil Lalu se :  "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho

ke...... "
Lalu : "Yeh kya laga rakha hai, Sita ko

haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir

Gita pe hat rakhunga to sasura aap use bhi

bulwa lenge...!''.


3 Din
Maalik Makaan : Mein tumko kiraya dene

ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Santa : Theek hai ji, mein Diwali Holi aur

Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.


Main Mera..
Bachha  (phone par): Madam, mera beta

aaj school nahi aaygea?
Madam: Aap kon bol rahe ho Ji?
Bachha : Main Mera papa bol rahe hoon.


Palan Poshan
Ek 10 saal ka Bachha bohot dhyan se ek

book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: "Bachhon

ka paalan poshan kaise kare".
Mother : yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Bachha : Mein yeh dekhna chahta hun ke

mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha

hai ya nahi.


Use Bande Ki Jeb Mai Thi
Santa: Tuhari car ka tyre puncture kaise

hua?
Driver Banta: Ik daaru ki bottle iske neeche

aa gayi thi.
Santa: Tumhe bottle nazar nahi aayi?
Driver Banta: Bottle uss bande ki jeb me thi

jo meri car ke neeche aaya tha.


Love
Boyfriend apni girlfriend ko I love you kehta

hai aur geer jata hai.
Girlfriend :- Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Funny Boyfriend :- I'm falling in love.


Hole in the Umbrella
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha
kisine pucha,umbrella me hole kyu?
2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raste me phat

gia to?
Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata

kaise chalega





Fasi Ki Khushi se
Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di

jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Sardar(Khusi se) : Main to uthta hi subha 9

baje hon!!!


Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai: "Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."
Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..! 
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Bhongasing ek ped per chadh Gaye.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaye?
Bhongasing: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Bhongasing: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hun. 
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Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ? 
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Raja Pervaiz Ashraf: Yaar mujhey Mother's Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!! 
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Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon. 
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Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun". 
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Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,  
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho... 
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Dad:result ka kya hua
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
Son : mai pass ho gya.
Dad : great, aur bad news.
Son:good news galat hai. 
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Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
'doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?'
Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to Yamraj hun!!!!
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husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka Natija!!
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Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?
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Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..
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Santa : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
Banta : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega. Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
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Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami".


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